In the land of feet, the one-armed paper hanger is king. Let us explain. Chicks dig handicaps. The worse the infirmary, the more they want to coddle and smother someone with sympathy. So it stands to reason that the general who's struggling to bring his troops to attention gets the ground support. Convince her you lost a vital appendage in a freak remote control accident and that you adore her feet. She'll take it from there with a series of arch-related dick seductions that will make you explode. Sure it's a slimy trick, but the ends often justify the means.

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