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Rate: The Maltese Asparagus

Using a scale from 0-lifeless to 10-ecstatic, please rate activities that apply to this movie.

Did you laugh hysterically?
Did you weep openly?
Did you scream with fear or excitement?
Did you cringe?
Did you find yourself at the edge of your seat?
Did you clench your stomach, feet, or fists during intense scenes?
Did you participate at a theatrical level?
Did you participate at a physical level?
Did you perspire?
Did you ever say to yourself "Whoa! I need a break"?